35. WANTING TO PLEASE YOUR SPOUSE

Marriage is about giving, not taking.  When you marry somebody, you marry everything they are and everything they’ve been.  You inherit their strengths, their fears and their weaknesses.  It’s impossible to choose the parts you want and leave the ones you don’t want.  It’s a package deal. If you ask God, he’ll give you grace to minister to your spouse (and to the child within them).  Be patient.  You may not see immediate change. It takes time for even a small cut to heal.  It’s a process.  

If you ask him, God will give you the oil of compassion and the wine of love to pour into their wounds. The bible teaches us that we’re not to be so spiritual that we become unavailable.  God says “I want those who are married to be concerned about pleasing their mates.”  Your first ministry is to your own home...your first calling is to your own spouse.  Your priorities need to start there, and then they can spread to your career, your vocation and other pursuits. 

God builds the house, but we have to do our own decorating in effect.  He says, “I release those who are married from the level of consecration I expect from those who are single, so they’ll be able to spend more time working on their relationship. “But I need to spend time with the Lord,” you say. True. The Bible doesn’t release you from your relationship with the Lord, it just sets some priorities.  You are called to be committed to God – and to your partner!